Fragmentation vs. Sweet Surrender

Posted: July 20, 2012 in Spiritual Growth
Tags: , , ,

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Don’t we all just long to be okay? We just want to know that we’re living the way we’re supposed to be living, doing the things we’re supposed to be doing, pleasing the right God, even the right people? I believe that even the worst sinners truly want to do life right, but just don’t know how. We measure ourselves by a yardstick of what we think is holy and sadly, we fall short. Okay, so we learn that God loves us, even us silly sinners. So then we try to love who we are in spite of our imperfections, you know, the way we hear that God loves us. We actually kind of get attached to our imperfections, saying, “That’s just me.” We kind of imagine God rolling his eyes when we mess up and then giving us a wink because, after all, we are so darned cute.

It is hard for us to truly grasp the unfathomable holiness and terror of such a powerful God and at the same time to truly swallow his equally unfathomable love and mercy. Humans don’t have the same standards for holiness, and humans don’t naturally love that way. But one thing that humans do understand is attachment and the pain of separation. I think that the pursuit of this attachment to God this is the best route for us to begin to find the road of holiness. For it is not so much the idea of holiness that we are after as much as it is the idea of wholeness. The idea that without finding a missing piece, we will feel the effects of such torturous fragmentation.

Fragmentation– the painful effects of living in such a way that is less than ideal, less than the way you were intended to live. Fragmentation occurs when your words and actions do not line up, when your mouth speaks one thing, but your heart tells a different tale. Fragmentation occurs when your purposes are not fully in line with the purposes of God and rebellion is knocking at your door. Yes, we usually call this sin. But if we think of it more as fragmentation, as a kind of psychosis, which is the most common affliction known to man, we may have less fear about taking ourselves in for a check up.

Some of you asked me to write on the topic of surrender, encounter… deep waters! It challenged me, so thanks for that! When I first thought of surrender, I thought of its sweetness. I picture the thrill of a person’s first roller coaster ride, children being tossed into the air with squeals of delight as they land in their daddy’s arms, people losing all dignity at a rock concert… Remember that Pointer Sisters song, “I’m so exited and I just can’t hide it. I’m about to lose control and I think I like it.” We normally think of the error of losing ourselves to unholy gods, but what about losing control to a holy God? What could be more thrilling, what could make us more alive?

We make our own lives boring when we don’t take the plunge and just surrender. When we look the other way as conviction is staring us down, we miss something of who we’re meant to be. He is trying to make us beautiful, he is trying to make us alluring to the world. He is trying to fill us with eternal pleasures at his right hand. He plays hide and seek to teach us to hunt him down. He means us to be intrigued, to seek him all the more. Instead, we can chose to hide in a bag of potato chips because it’s safer.

God is not making a list and checking it twice, finding out whose naughty or nice. And he’s not comparing your holiness to your neighbor’s. He’s humbled himself in the most amazing way possible, by restraining himself into the limitations of a man, just to try to win us over, just to invite us to join him in the adventure. Yes, he thinks you’re cute, but he never winks at your sin. The fragmentation of your soul pains him. It rips out his heart because it keeps you from him. When he chose you and me, he wanted all of us, every part. This Jealous God will settle for nothing less. What is surrender? It’s realizing the worth of that glorious relationship and wanting Him more than you want that good ole status quo.

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